Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Approaching Sex Education for Your Family


Approaching Sex Education for Your Family*
Mistaken Approaches in Sex Ed for Kids
·         Telling them it's bad.
o   The problem with this is that it will create unhealthy understanding of it with their future spouse. It might also make them think you’re bad since they know you did it to make them.
·         Plumbing without the relationship
o   This is significant because if you teach them only about the act without the emotional consequences, you will not be teaching them its real value.
·         Make up names for parts.
o   It could make them think it's wrong to refer to the actual name.
o   Makes it embarrassing now and more so in the future.
·         Be explicit when you don’t have to.
o   Don’t give them information that doesn't help them or meet their needs.
o   If they ask a simple question, give them a simple answer.
·         Leave it to someone else
o   Don’t assume they're teaching what you want your children to understand.
·         Don't be embarrassed by it.
o   If you’re embarrassed about it they will feel embarrassed too.
·         Don't shut down if they already know.
o   If they say they already know, discuss that with them. Make sure they know the right things.
·         Don’t wait for them to ask.
o   They may never ask, but they need to know because they will deal with the feelings themselves and with others talking about it.

What and How do you teach then?
·         Boundaries & Relationships. Remember it is sacred, special and good. Teach that.
o   The real purpose and value of sex is to strengthen marriages and bring children into the world.
§  It is “to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration, and common purpose.” (True to the Faith)
·         Use proper terms when you talk to them.
·         Gain an eternal perspective.   
o   Teach them about marital relations after they understand gospel principles such as the purpose of life and family. The Plan of Salvation.
·         Teach together as husband and wife.
o   This way you support each other and make the child feel comfortable with talking to either of you.
·         Teach when they're ready, as you go.
o   Children at different ages need to know different things. Keep it simple for the younger ones, and teach them about the relationships and the details as they’re approaching puberty.
What should parents know?
·         They should know about each others bodies and not just their own.
·         Sex is about becoming one. It’s not just an act of passion like it might be before marriage. 
·         LDS Standards on Birth Control
·         Read Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments 
 

*Remember that each approach will have to be tailored to the individual child's needs.

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